NKY101
2004-05-09 20:35:16 UTC
MOM - Job Description
POSITION:
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often
chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and
organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include
evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight
travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends
and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not
reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES: < BR>The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at
least temporarily, until someone needs $5.Must be willing to bite tongue
repeatedly.Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able
to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the
screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to
face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair,
mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.Must screen phone calls,
maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all
ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an
embarrassment the next.Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.Must always
hope for the best but ! be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete
accountability for the quality of the end product.Responsibilities also include
floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION:
Virtually none.Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in
your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-jo b training offered on a continually
exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses.A balloon payment
is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy
it and then wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no
paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless
opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards
right.
.
Happy Mothers Day !!!!!
NKY101
DisneyWorld is a PEOPLE TRAP, controlled by a MOUSE!!
POSITION:
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often
chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and
organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include
evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight
travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends
and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not
reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES: < BR>The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at
least temporarily, until someone needs $5.Must be willing to bite tongue
repeatedly.Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able
to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the
screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to
face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair,
mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.Must screen phone calls,
maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all
ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an
embarrassment the next.Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.Must always
hope for the best but ! be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete
accountability for the quality of the end product.Responsibilities also include
floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION:
Virtually none.Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in
your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-jo b training offered on a continually
exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses.A balloon payment
is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy
it and then wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no
paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless
opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards
right.
.
Happy Mothers Day !!!!!
NKY101
DisneyWorld is a PEOPLE TRAP, controlled by a MOUSE!!